Interview With An Alien

Welcome to my new series, “Interview With An Alien.” It’s long been a dream of mine to be scooped up by some UFO, and if not to be transported to another planet, to at least have a meaningful conversation with a being from another world. This series is for all those as crazy as I am, whose imaginations run wild in the ships of science fiction.

PART ONE: AMBASSADOR IKIRA FROM THE PLANET HAPIDA

S: Amabassador Ikira, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me.

I: My pleasure. We’re looking forward to a friendly relationship with Earth, and I’m happy to have the opportunity share with you.

S: We’re eager to get to know you. How did Hapida become aware of Earth?

I: We received a signal from a probe launched from your planet long ago. Of course, by the time it was within range of our system, much had changed on your planet. Humans, fortunately, still look much the same as the images on that probe, so at least we knew a little of what to expect. Your technology, however, has progressed significantly.

S: Yes, Voyager launched in 1977. I would imagine our current technology is still primitive by your standards, since, if I understand correctly, your people have been space farers for over a hundred generations.

I: That is true. However, our lifespan is comparatively much shorter than yours. Our planet rotates faster, and because our sun is small and has a weaker gravitational pull, it also revolves around the sun in a shorter time period. It’s a complex mathematical formula, but our year would be roughly equivalent to about seven months in your time.

S: Tell us about your home planet. How does it compare with Earth?

I: It’s radically different. Hapida is surrounded by dense clouds, and our sun is a weak, red dwarf, so very little light reaches the surface. We have many tall, slender trees with foliage high above the ground, but almost no ground plants. I am utterly fascinated by your oceans. So much water! Our only water sources are below ground, and we are adapted to using very little. It seems you waste a lot.

S: We are guilty of that. Until recently, it seemed to us to be an abundant and never-ending resource. We’re only now beginning to understand how little is fresh, drinkable, water, as opposed to salt water, and conservation efforts are far from adequate.

I: Our planet would be grateful even for the salt water. It could be treated and made drinkable.

S: An expensive process when our human population is so huge. Your population numbers only a few million, is that true?

I: Yes. We marry for life, and each couple has only one or two children in a lifetime. We are cold-blooded, so our entire metabolism is slower than humans’. You eat three times a day! I can’t imagine consuming that much. I eat about once every seven or eight of your days.

S: You have large, beautiful eyes. I assume that’s an adaptation to the dark conditions on your planet.

I: Yes. As you know, I had to ask you to dim the lights in your office. Most of the time here I have to wear very dark glasses, as well as a breathing apparatus. Your atmosphere is too oxygen rich.

S: That seems awfully inconvenient. I hope it isn’t too unpleasant for you.

I: For me, it is worth the inconvenience to explore your world.

S: Definitely worth some inconvenience. I’d like to ask another personal question, if that would be all right?

I: Of course. I can always choose not to answer. (She utters a series of quick hisses through her nose, a sound I learned earlier is a chuckle. She has a wonderful sense of humor!)

S: Tell me about the appendages on your head. Do they have a function?

I: Yes. Because our planet is dark, our eyesight is poor, compared to humans. Our filiki provide extra sensory data. It is apparently a sense humans lack. We… touch the air around us and pick up vibrations and magnetic and electrical currents.

S: Fascinating. I wish I had those senses. What other species inhabit your planet?

I: Like most planets that have achieved sentient life—there are quite a lot of them, you know—we have a variety of species, though not so varied as earth. Many of ours have developed life cycles below ground, and cold-blooded species outnumber warm-blooded ones about fifty to one. We only have sixty two warm-blooded species, and most of those lay eggs. We don’t have any birds, though we have a dozen species that float in the air. Most of them look a little like your lizards or snakes with flaps of skin that unfold to glide through the air. I have a pet peliri at home. It has a soft, fuzzy skin but is long like a snake. They love to wrap around your arm and be carried around. They coo, or kind of trill, when they’re happy.

S: Interesting. A fuzzy snake. What do they eat?

I: They inhale microorganisms in the air, so they are very easy to care for.

S: (Now I’m really laughing). That would be a blessing. I have five cats, and I’d better not forget to feed them!

Readers, check in on January 13, 2010, for the continuation of this interview. In Part Two of my interview, we’ll learn a little more about Ikira’s world, Hapida, her culture, other species, and some of their holidays and celebrations.