We spent the weekend at Lake of the Ozarks. The views were pretty, but I’m really an ocean girl. Odd, since I’ve never gotten to live anywhere within reasonable driving distance of the ocean. I’ve always been solidly stuck in the middle of the country.
Lake of the Ozarks was terribly built up. To me, it ruins the ambience. I’d rather see more shoreline. I also miss looking out and being able to see nothing but endless ocean. Seeing the opposite shore makes me feel hemmed in.
Lakes don’t have the same scent, or sound, or feel. Call me crazy, but I love the scent of salt water air. I remember the first time I took my family to the ocean. We were probably still ten miles from the coast, but I could smell it in the air. It gave me such a sense of elation and, at the same time, peace. Like I was finally released from a cage.
We did get to take a sunset cruise, which was beautiful.
And at least I got some waves while the boat was moving.
Very nice boat called “Celebration.” I got to have a Margarita. Since I normally drive everywhere we go, that’s as vacation perk for me.
Lakes only have waves slapping against the shore when a high-speed boat goes by. In the mornings and at night it is almost silent. I want to hear the constant rhythm of the waves. It’s hard to get a hotel room within hearing distance of the ocean, but my ideal would be to fall asleep to the ocean sounds. I think I could sleep on a boat if I ever got the chance. (I’m not prone to sea sickness, fortunately.)
There were a few gulls on Lake of the Ozarks, but nothing like the abundance of gulls near the ocean. I love those little thieves. I love feeding them—they are so brazen. Just don’t hold out a piece of food you intend to eat yourself. A friend of mine told me a funny story once. When she and her family were vacationing in Florida, her little boy was standing on the balcony eating a Twinkie. You guessed it. A gull swooped down and snatched it right out of his hand.
All in all it was a nice, relaxing break from the hectic pace of everyday living.
But I miss the ocean.
Brian Dawes, author of Life According To Brian, has been places and done things few of us can imagine, and a lot of us, including me, probably wouldn’t want to. 
The picture of Brian’s book with the gas mask is a case in point. Brian was attending University in Queensland, Australia, home for the holidays in Bahrain during the First Gulf War. The Bahrain government had issued gas masks to its citizens in case of an attack from Iraq. The English speaking “ex-pats” in Bahrain were avid partiers, not to be deterred by the threat of attack, so they had “gas mask parties.” Everybody had to bring their own gas mask as well as copious amounts of booze.
At thirteen he managed to convince his parents to allow him to return to Bahrain and attend school there. Before long, however, he heard from a friend that a boarding school in Scotland, aptly named Colditz (after the infamous prison in ‘the Great Escape’) was a pretty good school, and off he went. It didn’t hurt that his grandmother lived in the area. Not that being at a better school changed his behavior much. In Chapter 4: Halfterm Mayhem—Saving the Family Name, the boys spend their school break at a house owned by his ‘unaware’ parents, who were still living overseas. The first night they create a new tradition by getting drunk and jumping off the bridge into the freezing river at 2:00 a.m. The next day, they decide on a toga party, using Brian’s mother’s new sheets, in appropriate colors of bright pink, blue, green, and yellow, and partying on the lawn where the geriatric neighbors are certain to see and report to his grandmother. When they see gran on her way, they sneak out to the local pub, still in togas, of course.
his buddy Firthy head to Thailand. In Brian’s words, “Bangkok is best described as utterly chaotic, think manic beehive with the Queen on her period, shouting orders outrageously drunk and high on LSD. General disorder is the dish of the day.” No spoilers here. I’ll let you read the rest of the story yourselves, and see how the “safe hands” bit works out.
In Uganda, Chapter 40, Two Fools Attempt Croc Suicide—My Favorite Flip Flops, Brian and his buddies hire guides to take them fishing in search of huge Nile Perch on the Nile river, where the crocodiles were larger than their boat. Brian’s friend caught the Perch, but Brian landed this monster catfish. Not sure it couldn’t have eaten the boat.
computer—often alien with alien symbols, and with a few educated guesses hacks the computer system and saves the world. My experience with technology is… well, not so great.
Also saw the Ancient Ozarks Natural History Museum there. I thought the tickets were a little pricey, but turned out to be worth it. The cave tour is with electric golf carts, much better for my knees. It was a much smaller cave than I was expecting, but the trail was beautiful, with several impressive waterffall.
According to the shuttle driver it’s the largest in the U.S., although that would be in large part because it focuses primarily on the Ozarks. Most of the museum is actually Native American exhibits, with a few skeletons of prehistoric animals thrown in. We didn’t get pictures in there as the lighting wasn’t ideal, and I assumed we weren’t supposed to use a flash, though I didn’t see any signs.
But a few days later, there it was, and much less than the highest bid we’d gotten from a company that ghosted us. Even better, he had a crew ready to start in three weeks. To the left is another view of what the original roof looked like from the back of our house.
